Oh the Horror!
by Invader Anonymous
Summary: What happens when Zim tries to make every one slaves by the power of love? Horrible horrible results! Newest chapter IS NOW UP! YAY! Every one in rejoice in the evil...PURE HATE FILLED EVIL that is Chapter 9! Hi ppl! **waves**
1. Oh the Horror

_Disclaimer thingymadoober_:  Whoa, if you've mistaken me for the almighty god known as Jhonen Vasquez, then you DEFINANTLY need help.  I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM!  Or related characters.  And I am warning you now…this fic ain't slash but it's kinda along the same lines.  You'll see *evil grin*…

**Oh the horror!**

            "Due to the fact that the late Mr. Giggles was eaten by koala bears on his trip to Australia over the winter break, I am your new teacher.  After reviewing his so called, "lesson-plan", I have decided that it will not prepare you for the adult world, so there is a slight change in lessons."  Every single child in the high skool classroom shuddered conspicuously.  Dib groaned loudly while Zim hit his head against the desk.  _She was supposed to be gone…GONE!_  Dib thought to himself, _why is she back?  What did I do to deserve this?!_  Mrs. Bitters growled at the classroom as the children shifted uncomfortably.  

            "SILENCE!  Today's horrible lesson is about-" the student body cringed in anticipation, "-the poisoning field of work known as telemarketing!"  The class sat in complete silence as she started to rant on about the demons that live at home.  

            Dib proceeded to ignore her and scribbled a picture of him presenting Zim to the government while the president shook his hand.  He smiled at the thought.  Zim leaned over his desk and glared at Dib, then looked up and the clock and sat back down.  He sighed audibly and zoned out, seeing himself towering over collapsed buildings and fire, waving the Irken flag.  A lazy grin spread across his face.

            The class was shook out of complete boredom as the bell for lunch rang.  The teenagers leaped up and cheered, running out of the classroom.  Only Dib and Zim were left.  Zim gathered his books while Dib leaned over his shoulder.  "How is it going, _alien_?"

            "Hello, Dib," Zim responded, not bothering to look back at him.  He walked out of the classroom and made his way to the cafeteria.  He wasn't looking where he was going and ran into two people hugging.  "Gak!"  He raised an eyebrow at the strange sight, as the girl of the couple ordered her boyfriend to get her a soda he did so as quickly as he could.  Zim looked thoughtful as he watched the boy do all the female's bidding.

            "What's the matter Zim?  Never seen someone show affection?  Is that too much of an alien concept for you?"

            "Of course not, miserable stink beast!  I know what this…affection is.  It's um…um…when two earthanoids…um…grab each other?"

            All Dib did was shake his head and snicker.  He walked into the cafeteria and stood in line to get the skool "food".  Zim stood in the hall and watched the humans hug and cuddle.  He thought for a minute then smiled.  "This affection…makes humans act as slaves.  This could be useful for the mission…" He rubbed his claws together happily and took off for home, completely forgetting about the rest of skool.

            Dib came out of the line just in time to see Zim crossing the skool yard, heading towards his home.  He raised an eyebrow and sat down next to Gaz, who was busily punching away at her game slave.  "He's up to something…I just know it!"

            Gaz didn't look up as she growled at Dib, "Your drowning out my music…"

            Dib ignored Gaz's remark and continued talking to himself, "What horrible thing can it be this ti-OOF!"  Dib fell out of his seat as Gaz punched him with one hand, the other still playing her Game Slave 2.  She smiled.

            G.I.R. was sitting on the couch watching the Scary Monkey show.  Zim walked through the door and looked from GIR to the T.V.  "That…horrible monkey…"  GIR nodded absently.  "GIR!  We need to go down to my lab.  I have found an Earth weakness that can assist us in our mission."

            Zim walked into the kitchen and stepped on the trash can lid, then pulled himself inside and went down the elevator to the lab.  GIR ripped off its green doggie suit and ran after him, tumbling down the shaft, landing on the floor with a clang.

Zim sat in his chair, "Computer, access Earth files."  He smiled as the computer scrolled through files.  "Now…find files on…affection."  The computer brought up three folders all having different labels: "Love", "Animals", and "Food".  

"Hmm…well the earthanoids were not eating some sort of 'Food', nor did they have any animals, and I have no idea what this, 'Love', thing is.  Maybe that's the file.  Computer, bring up…'Love'." 

 **ACCESSING FILES:  FILES ACCESSED**.

"Excellent," Zim laughed cruelly as he rubbed his claws together.  He did not notice GIR attempting to make cupcakes by the power amplifier, as he was too busy reading about the emotion known as 'love'.

Dib and Gaz walked slowly home together, her eyes were focused on her Game Slave 2 screen while Dib scanned the area.  "Why would he leave so early?  What evil plan is he…planning?  WHAT IS IT?"  He grabbed his sister and shook her by the shoulders.  "HOW DO YOU NOT CARE?!  We have an ALIEN!  Trying to conquer the world!"

Gaz's eyes bulged at Dib.  "If you want to keep that big head of yours on your neck, then you will put me down RIGHT NOW!"  Dib immediately dropped Gaz and muttered about no one appreciating his efforts.

"Well I bet you would be mad when Zim destroys the planet…including all the Game Slave 2 factories where they make the games…" Gaz just glared at Dib sideways and continued walking.  Dib threw up his hands and sighed.

Well, there it is folks!  The first chapter!  Trust me…it gets VERY interesting.  You just have to review to see it!  MUAHAHAHA!  All I'm asking is for 3 measly reviews.  AND THE STORY SHALL CONTINUE!  And if no one reviews…then…um…I'll most likely continue it anyway cuz I know where it's going and I know it gets interesting.  SO MWEHEHEHE.  Okies…um…SO REVIEW!


	2. And the Horror Grows!

_Disclaimer thingymabob_:  Once again, I am not the owner of the almighty show that is Zim.  OMG!  GO TO HOTTOPIC.COM!  THEY GOT THE STUFF!  I've already purchased a shirt, teehee.  One of mah Christmas presents.  I got the one that has GIR and says, "Somebody needs a hug!"  ANYWAYS…I do not own Zim and all related characters.  Happy crazy reading!

**And the Horror Grows!**

Zim had finished reading up on the weak human emotion known as Love.  He found it quite amusing due to the effects of this "illness".  He had an amazing, masterful plan (ain't that unusual?) that would be sure to render the humans helpless.  He cackled like a psychopath and GIR joined in, giggling insanely, causing it to spill the cupcake batter all over the power amplifier.  GIR looked at the mess, shrugged and skipped off.

"GIR!  I have a plan!  An AMAZING plan by ME!  ZIM!"  GIR looked up at him, hiding the bowl of chocolate mix behind its back Zim raised an eyebrow.  "GIR?"

"Yes master?"

"What are you doing?"  Zim eyed the little robot.

"Nothiiiiing…"

Zim looked at it and the robot just stared back.  Zim shrugged and continued with his plan.  "I have read up on this…love…thing.  It makes humans simply hopeless!  With the power amplifier, I plan to spread this…love…to all the children at the skool.  Once they all love me, I will have complete power over them!"  He titled his head back and double over in insane laughter.  

"Weeeeehehehehehehehehe," GIR fell on his back and kicked its legs in the air.  It suddenly stopped and walked out of the lab, wearing the chocolate covered bowl on its head while humming.  It proceeded upstairs and sat down on the couch and turned on The Scary Monkey Show.  GIR looked at the T.V. for a moment, then fell to the floor laughing once more.

Zim blinked.  "I really need to look at GIR's artificial intelligence.  It seems to be, stupid.  Ah well, I'll just get to work on the power amplifier."

**THE NEXT MORNING**

Dib walked to skool with Gaz, as usual.  "Anyway, I was thinking, what could Zim be up to?  It must be something horrible.  Something…just…HORRIBLE!"

Gaz ignored her brother and focused on the Game Slave in front of her.  Despite her not responding to his ranting, Dib continued.  "Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries had a complete fraud on last night.  They said Bigfoot was at the Chokey Chicken Ranch but COME ON.  He was SO at MacMeaties yesterday!" 

Gaz snarled at him.  "I will continue to ignore your weirdness for now, for I still have all my lives.  But if you so carry on talking to yourself, I will be forced to instill fear in your pathetic little life."

Dib eyed his sister and sighed.  _No one understands me_, he thought to himself.  _If only I can prove to everyone that Zim is an alien…_He muttered about the Martian surface to himself when he tripped over a fire hydrant.  Dib fell face first into a puddle of chocolate syrup.  Gaz looked up for a moment and snickered, then she walked away, leaving him. "AW!  Disgusting!  Wait a minute, chocolate syrup?  What idiot is writing this?"  He looked around and as he did the sky suddenly blackened and a bolt of lightning struck the tree about two yards away from him.

Dib grimaced.  "Obviously a very smart idiot!  Yup!  The brains of the bunch!"  The sky instantly cleared and the tree pieced its self back together.  Dib wiped away the sweat that had built up on his forehead and he laughed nervously.  The skool bell sounded and he cursed.  Dib jumped up and ran to the skool, not even bothering to wipe the chocolate off.

Zim had gone to skool exceptionally early that day.  With the help of GIR he had attached the power amplifier to the top of the skool.  He had the settings perfect.  There was no reason at all that it should not work at all.  But what he had found out could make the power amplifier send out terribly wrong waves was if chocolate was introduced.  _But there was no chocolate anywhere near it_, Zim thought.  _Muahahahaha!  _"Prepare for screaming amplifier DOOM!"

With an evil snicker he turned the power amplifier up to full volume, then climbed down the side of the building.  It was specifically programmed to work on everything except him.  What he had forgotten about was GIR…

When Dib ran into the skool, everyone was acting strange.  He ignored the fact that Old Kid and Zeta were making out in the corner of the hall and walked into the classroom.  The Letter M was tapping Keef on the shoulder.  Keef turned around and The Letter M handed him a note that had hearts scribbled on it.  Dib blinked and looked around.

Torque was flirting with Jessica, but Jessica wasn't interested in Torque.  She was poking Zim in the back of the head.  Zim had his chin on his claws and looked rather annoyed.  Dib smiled.  It always pleased him to see Zim unhappy.

Dib sat down in his seat and continued to smile.  Jessica's pimply friend sat on his desk and leaned her face close to his.  Dib leaned as far back as he could without actually getting out of his desk.  He waved his hands furiously in front of his face.  "GET AWAY!"

She pouted and cooed, which disgusted Dib further.  He placed his hand on her face and shoved her off the desk and onto the floor.  She lay there giggling.  "Dibby has a crush on me!"

"I DO NOT!"  Dib shuddered at the thought.  _What the hell is wrong with these people?_

"Well Zimmy likes me!"  Jessica hugged Zim's head as she said this, which ended up in gagging him.  Zim let out a muffled scream.  Out of his backpack came two metal rods that poked Jessica in the stomach.  "Hmm?  What's thi-AHHHHHHHHH!"  Jessica fell to the floor twitching, waves of electricity going through her.  Zim whistled innocently…

Gaz was sitting in class, bored, as usual.  She shoved her hands in her pockets realizing she had her Game Slave 2.  She took it out and hid it on her lap, playing it under her desk with the music down.  She didn't feel like learning today.

Suddenly, a feeling of bliss washed over her.  She didn't feel like playing her Game Slave today either.  She felt like, singing.  And dancing.  She wanted to dance.  Gaz sighed dreamily and put her head on her desk, her eyes glazed over.  She had no idea what had come over her.

She felt so calm, so unthreatening.  A small green dog walked into the classroom.  Gaz looked at it. _ A new student?  Wow, he's hot_.  She smiled flirtatiously at the little dog as it came in unnoticed.  She signaled it to come over to her.  It did as she wanted.  

GIR smiled.  "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," it said with its mouth wide open.  It hugged the cute girl that had purple hair.  "Pretteeeeeeeey…I love you."  GIR snuggled up against Gaz and she hugged him back.  She didn't feel like pounding the adorable dog that she now loved so much. 

"Wanna go make out?"  GIR nodded so Gaz raised her hand and claimed that she needed to go to the bathroom, taking GIR with her.  

MUAHAHAHA!  If you think that's wrong…WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER!  Oh such chapters I have for you!  BUT!  You have to review…I'm making it mandatory to review.  I need…hmmmm…10 reviews!  Yesh…10.  I will write it anyway but I won't post it UNTIL I GET 10.  Why?  Cuz I'm evil.  YESSSSSSSSSSSH.  FEAR THE EVIL!  **Coughs** Sorry about that…anyways…say whatever you want!  Suggestions are welcome!


	3. Oh my Dear God...

_Dis…I'm claiming:  _ *sigh*  How many times do I have to tell you guys dat I don't own Invader Zim and related characters?  OH WEEEEELL!  **dances a spooky…dance**  Ya.  I'm putting up the third chapter even tho' I didn't get mah reviews.  Oh weeeeeeell!  It's getting' pushed too far back, and it's scaring me **hides**.

Oh my dear God… 

            The pimply girl that is also known as Jessica's friend was hanging on to Dib's big head (muahaha!).  "EEEEEEEE!  I love you!  MARRY ME!"  Dib shoved her off the desk again and screamed.

            "LEAVE ME ALONE!  DON'T GET NEAR ME!"  He suddenly looked at Zim as a thought struck him.  Dib jumped out of his desk and glared at Zim.  "YOU!"

            Zim was having just as much trouble with Jessica.  She attempted to grab him in what seemed like a death hug, but he slapped her away.  "Don't…touch me."  Dib shouted at him again and he turned around.  "Yes, Dib?"

            "YOU!  You have something to do with this!  I know you do!"

            Zim blinked innocently while Jessica hugged his leg.  "I have no idea what your talking about earth monkey!"  At this inopportune moment, Mrs. Bitters came…_skipping_ (?) through the doorway.  Every single student stopped flirting and stared, looks of absolute horror plastered on their face.  Dib's jaw dropped to the desk and Zim's eye twitched.  Mrs. Bitters seemed oblivious to the strange behavior of her students, as well as her own abnormal manner.

            She waved cheerily at the classroom.  "Hello my dear class!  Oh how I love thee so.  And DIB!  How are you?  Oh you simply MUST come over to my house after school to wash that lovely brown chocolate off your adorable body.  Has anyone told you how well it matches your beautiful auburn eyes?"

            Zim's head hit the desk with an audible thud and his body shook with silent laughter.  Dib looked at Mrs. Bitters, who was…batting her eyelashes?  YES!  She was!  Dib shrieked and did the only thing he could think of, run full speed out of the classroom and down the hall, screaming the entire way.  Mrs. Bitters waved after him happily.

            "Don't forget our date tonight Dibby!"

            Zeta raised her hand.  "Mrs. Bitters?"

            "Yes, Zeta?"

            "You seem, more crazy than normal today.  Did you take too much Prozac?"

            "I'm perfectly fine!  CLASS IS DISMISSED!"

            The teenagers blinked for a moment, then tore out of the classroom.  Zim looked around at the empty classroom.  This was so not working as he had planned…

            Dib didn't stop running until he had reached the safety of his own home.  He slammed the door behind him and threw himself on the couch, panting.  "Zim…he had to have something to do with the freak behavior today!  Unnnng…"  A shudder ran through his body.  He leapt up and ran into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.  As he did, a girl with purple hair and a green and black puppy walked in hand in hand through the door.  

            "Let's go to my room, dog!"  Gaz grinned at GIR and they both ran upstairs to Gaz's room.

            Dib walked out of the bathroom, wiping his mouth.  "Blegh…I don't feel very good.  Gaz?  Was that you?"  No answer.  "Hmm…must've been my imagination.  Now…let's go find something that I can stop Zim with."  He smiled and jogged upstairs, not noticing the couple in Gaz's room, even though the door was wide open.  

            He picked up a cool looking device.  It had three prongs protruding from a circular blue orb.  "Hee…the Rain Master 3000!  Guaranteed to spray the most powerful blasts of water of any water gun!"  He looked around for a second.  "Hmm…better change out of these chocolate covered clothes.  I'll take this old spy cloak.  Heehee…look out Zim.  I'm on to you."  

            Dib slipped on the cloak and stuffed the water gun in his overly large pocket.  He shoved his hands in his overly large pockets and whistled.  Dib started to make his way to the front door, and he passed Gaz's room.  He suddenly stopped.  "What the…?"  He slowly backtracked, and his head contorted.  GIR had the hood of his doggy suit off and Gaz…Gaz wasn't wearing…HER SKULL PENDANT!  "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  Dib screamed bloody murder and ran as fast as his legs could carry him, making a Dib shaped hole at the end of the hall.

            Dib hit the ground with a thud, but he jumped up and continued running like the hounds of hell were after him.

            Zim wondered why his plan hadn't worked.  "It was designed perfectly…"  He rounded a corner and heard a faint screaming.  He looked up and wondered what that sound was.  A puff of smoke could be seen in the distance, and it seemed the noise was coming from that.  Zim squinted and only realized what it was when it was too late.  Dib slammed full force against Zim.

            "AHHHHHHHHHHH!  Get OFF you smelly wormbag!"  Zim kicked Dib off, who was quite dizzy from the impact.  He staggered around, and immediately recognizing the voice of Zim.  He pointed at a nearby tree as he wobbled.  

            "You…"

            "Who, the tree?"  Zim looked around.

            "No…YOU!"  Zim just blinked, then he waved.

            "I'm over here, Dib."

            "I knew that!"  Dib gave a small growl.  "You…"

            "Yes, I think we've established the fact that it's me, get on with it!"

            Dib waved his hand around the air.  "This…you…you made everyone extremely flirty today!"

            "Um…no actually."

            "Yes you did!"

            "That was not my intention…now if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way."  He shoved Dib out of his way and started walking towards his house.

            Dib grabbed Zim's arm and swung him against the tree, pinning his arms behind him.  He narrowed his eyes.  "You better fix whatever you did to my sister…"

            "Your sister?  Oh…the purple haired child."

            "Yes her.  It seems she has fallen in love with YOUR robot!"

            "GIR?  Oh…shit.  I knew I forgot something…"  Zim winced.  "Can you let me go now?"

            "Only if you promise to fix it…"

            "I promise nothing for you fool!  I am doing this for me…"  He yanked his arm away and twisted around, out of Dib's grasp.  Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib, turned, and walked towards home.

            MUAHAHA.  Wasn't that…UTTERLY FRIGHTENING?!?!  I have two more chapters to come.  OooooOOooO.  So…YOU MUST REVIEW.  So nyaaaaaah.  Okies.  Um…ya.  I'll be goin' now.  **laughs insanely then leaves**


	4. Um...no good title!

Hey Guess What Time It Is!!!!  

**Enthusiastic Audience**:  WHAT?!

TIME FOR THE DISCLAIMER SO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!  A-hem.  Anyways.  I do not own Invader Zim, and if your feeble mind still has not comprehended that…then I pity you.  The only character I own would have to be the nude monkey in the closet…

**Um…no idea for a title!**

****

            Zim continued to run towards his house.  He had to get away from the Dib.  Yes…the Dib!  He would ruin everything!  Although he had pretty much ruined his own plan…Zim burst through the door and slammed it behind him.  Panting he looked around.  

"GIR!"…Zim stopped panting and glanced around the family room.  "Where is he?  Oh yes…with the purple haired…thingy.  Ah well, I don't need his assistance anyway."  Zim puffed out his chest and walked smartly into the kitchen, but not so smartly did he walk into the wall.  "Oof!  Bah…there's a wall there."  

Zim raised an invisible eyebrow.  Wondering where the wall came from, he slid around it into the kitchen.  He raised a fist into the air, opened his mouth to announce something he thought was important, then realized no one else was there to hear so he didn't.  He climbed into the toilet and flushed himself down it to his top-secret lab.

Dib watched Zim run off to his house.  "Well, I can't go back to MY house, but where should I go?"  He heard rustling leaves behind him and turned around.  His face dropped and he attempted to turn and run but strong arms grabbed his.

"You should go with me…"

Dib screamed like a girl and attempted to run.  The person raised him above the ground so his legs could not reach.  Spinning like a windmill in the air, his arms tried to hit the kidnapper.  The…thing…laughed manically and carried him off to its house.

GIR sat there gazing into Gaz's eyes.  "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…" 

"…Hello."  Gaz stared back, her smile making her appearance quite frightening and alien.  They had decided to walk to Zim's house after Professor Membrane came home.  But GIR had opted to sit on the sidewalk halfway there.  It grinned at Gaz.

"WANNA CUPCAKE?!"  GIR shrieked and unzipped his doggy hood, the top of his empty metal head opening up and pouring out rice-a-roni.  "Aww…I miss you cupcake."  GIR sniffled and Gaz raised an eyebrow.

"That is not a cupcake…"  GIR's lower lip trembled.  Gaz frowned, then smiled.  "But I looooove rice-a-roni more than cupcakes!  And I love you more than rice-a-roni!"

"YAY!  Waitaminute…YAY!"  They skipped off into the sunset hand in hand, never to be seen again, until next chapter.

Jessica glared at her pimply friend.  "Zim loves me!"

"Well Dib loves me!"

"Zim's cuter!"

"DIB!"

"ZIM!"

"DIB!"

"ZIM!"

"Dib's a paranormal freaky person!"

"Zim has green skin and no friends!"  The pimply girl stuck out her tongue.

A random girl, around fifteen ran up to them both and slammed their heads together.  "Zim's mine ladies, and Dib's my friends.  SO LAY OFF!"  The crazy girl ran off.

The rubbed their heads and groaned.  The pimply once friend of Jessica's glowered at her.  "Hey…sorry for acting like a jerk…"

"Aw no…it was my fault…"

"No, it was mine…"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"NO!  MINE!"  Jessica flipped out and waved her hands around wildly.

"MINE!, AND Dib is sooooo much cuter."

"NO WAY!  Zim is!"

And so it continues…

Zim wandered around his lab, wondering what could have possibly gone wrong with the experiment.  "Hmmm…"  He examined the spot where the power amplifier once was.  "Nothing that could be of any importance…WAIT!  What's this?"

Zim examined the ground and scooped up the gooey brown substance with a claw.  He placed his hand under the scanner.  "Computer, run an analysis."

ANALYSIS RUNNING:  ANALYSIS RAN.  CONCLUSION:CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE BATTER

Zim gasped.  "CHOCOLATE?!  So that's why the machine didn't work.  It must've caused everyone to fall in love with the first person they saw…Hmm.  Why didn't it work on the Dib though?"  Zim pondered this for a moment.  "I've got no time to loose!  I must go fix it."  

Zim narrowed his eyes evilly and cackled.  "NOW the humans will see what it will be like to obey and love their future slave master! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" Zim inhaled deeply and continued, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  Vengence…shall be mine."  

With that said, Zim jumped in his voot cruiser and made his way to the skool.

Dib opened his eyes to find himself…chained to a bed?  He sat up, the chains on his arms linking him to the posters of a heart shaped bed, with red sheets and pink hearts.  He looked around.  Not seeing his captor he yanked on the chains.  Dib pulled until the blood stopped flowing.  He pulled furiously and tried to climb off the bed but didn't prevail.  

He lay there panting.  "Where am I?"  

"Welcome to my house, Dib."  An all too familiar voice rang through the air and he looked up.

"YOU!"

Heehee!  Who is Dib's mysterious captor?  Who was that crazy girl claiming Zim as hers (Gee, I wonder..J)?  AND WHERE IS THE NUDE MONKEY IN THE CLOSET?!  All these and more, answered in the next chapter!


	5. Another Pointless Chapter

**CLAIMING DIS FOR JHONEN!:**  I do not own Invader Zim…with that said I shall continue my now pointless and really stupid story.  Considering I wrote this while completely sane, you now KNOW you don't want to know what I think of when I have french vanilla cappucino with caffiene and Fruit mentos mixed together!  THANK YOU!  I'm thinking of ending this story…

**Another Pointless Chapter:**

            "Yes…it's me."  The figure stepped out of the shadows wearing see through lingerie.

            "HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST!  AIEEEEEEEEEEEE! GOOD GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  THAT'S ABSOLUTELY DISUGUSTIIIIIIIING!"  Dib screamed and kicked like a screamin' and kickin' foo'.  

            Mrs. Bitters smiled innocently.  "What's the matter, do you not like it, Dib?"

            "NO!  In fact I DON'T!  LEAAAAAAVE ME ALOOOOONE!"  Dib closed his eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts.  He muttered to himself.  "Zim lying on an autopsy table with his guts strewn everywhere and me getting recognition… Zim lying on an autopsy table with his guts strewn everywhere and me getting recognition…" Dib continued to chant the mantra when he felt something sit on the bed next to him.  A shudder ran through his body.

            Dib dared to open one eye, only to find Mrs. Bitters wrinkly old mustachey face centimeters from his. "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  Her crusty lips puckered up and Dib instinctively kicked out at her stomach, causing her to tumble backwards off the bed, landing on her head with her legs balanced in the air, causing the see-through dressy thing to slide down.  "AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  Dib ripped the shackles from the bed, leaped up and jumped out the third story window.

            Mrs. Bitters straightened herself up and looked out the window.  "Aw…my Dib…"

            Zim landed on top of the school building.  "Hmmm…now to fix this mess and cause it to work like it should!"  He hopped out of the voot cruiser and made his way to the power amplifier.  Zim bent down and looked at the power amplifier.  "A-HA!  There's the chocolatey chocolate!"

            His backpack opened up and an item that looked like a wrench popped out of his backpack.  Zim took this wrench and attached it to the power amplifier.  Waves of cleanliness washed through the entire machine, causing the chocolate to wither and fall off.

            "NOW!  Tomorrow the skool children shall all love ZIM!  AND ONLY ZIM!  They shall worship me!"  Zim started to cackle crazily (I'm running out of words!  AHHHH!).

            Gaz and GIR sat across the table, staring at each other.  They had reached a boardwalk and started to share a milk-shake, but GIR had devoured the entire thing before Gaz could even touch it.  Thus resulting in the ultimate staring contest, looser buys another milk shake.  Gaz narrowed her eyes that were tearing…GIR being a robot was not require to blink.  But, GIR being the moron it is forgot that important fact and squirmed in his seat.  Gaz and GIR stared back and forth.

            "You owe me a milkshake…"

            "But I wanna cupcake…" GIR frowned, its eyes teared, and it sobbed.  

            Gaz blinked at the moronic robot and looked around.  "Um…wanna play my gameslave?"  Gaz suddenly realized how bad of an idea that was.

            "YAY!"  GIR hugged Gaz's head.  "I love you…"

            Gaz looked around frantically.  She pulled a lint ball out of her pocket and handed it to GIR.  "There…"

            "HOORAY!  What is it?"

            "It's for you…"  Gaz looked past the robot and saw a soda machine.  "Soda…"  Her eyes opened wide in pure girly delight as she stood up hypnotically and walked to the machine as if in a trance…

            Dib ran until his breath was short and his lungs felt as if they were about to burst.  He dared not to look back and pushed himself to keep running, attempting to reach a safe tangible object to hide in or behind.  "Horrible…nightmare…visions!"  Dib looked up and saw the skool.  _The skool!  She'll never look there!_  He slowed down, his legs feeling like lead, and started to walk.  

            Dib groaned and leaned against the gate.  "Ung…" he panted and slid down the gate.  "Must…get…in…" Dib heard an familiar noise and looked up.  He saw Zim's voot cruiser land on the building of the skool.  _This is my big chance!  I have my alien sleep cuffs in my pocket from the other day…I'll get him this time_!  Dib started to run towards the skool, pushing past the gate, then suddenly stopped.

            "Guh…cramp…got…to…walk…" Dib walked towards the ladder that lead up the side of the skool and to the roof.  He smiled maliciously as he made his way towards success!

Ugh…craziness…this story is getting worse and worse.  Dunno if I'm gonna finish it or not.  *Shrug*  Oh well…off to beddy…bedness.  BYE!


	6. It's raining men! I think...waitaminute...

**DISOWNER**!:Er…I think I meant disclaimer.  **looks around**  AHHHHH!  I FERGOT MY CAPPUCCINO!  NOOOOOO!  I *KNEW* I forgot something!  **cries**  Why my cappuccino?!  WHY?!  I lovded yoo cappu-OH!  Rice pudding!  **grabs the rice pudding and eats it**  **looks at audience with mouth stuffed full of pudding**  … **suddenly perks up**  MFF!  Murfle-snort mmfish insh bagsh!  **swallows the big mouthful and stands up**  **bows**  Well, what I was trying to say is that I'm Invader Anonymous, not Jhonen Vasquez.  Hence I do not own IZ, though if I did…MUAHAHAHA-sorry.  Anyways, on to the story!  In case your wondering about the title, I'm listening to Live.  Kickass group.  Yup.  I'm actually trying to keep the characters IC now!  Cuz like…I dunno.  It was annoying me greatly.

**I am OverCOOOOOOME**:****

****

            Dib crept around the side of the skool building, keeping his eyes focused on the roof to make sure that his quarry did not escape.  "Heehee, I have you now, _Zim_!"  A smile spread across Dib's face as he thought of what he would do to Zim once he caught him.  Expose him to the world!  Prove to everyone that he was sane!  

            Dib's face suddenly fell.  "My own _dad_ didn't even believe me…but I'll show them!  I'll get you Zim," Dib jeered and made his way towards the fire escape ladder.  He heard an all to familiar cackle from the top of the skool.  Reaching the escape ladder, he jumped on to it, grabbing the rungs.  Dib pulled himself up the steps quickly but quietly, hoping his enemy wouldn't notice him.

            Zim looked at the power amplifier.  He smirked at his own incredible genius as he cranked the power amplifier up to full volume.  "Now, it should work this time.  There's no GIR to mess it up.  Wait!  GIR!  Gah, I'll fix that later.  It's too late."  Zim yawned and rubbed his squinted eyes, causing one of the contacts to fall out.  His eye popped open and he cursed.  

            "Grrrr…these stupid lenses!  They're all scratchy," Zim snorted as he bent over and felt for the lens in the dark.  An electric voice called out from his back-pod.  

            **UNKNOWN ASSAILANT BEHIND YOU**.

            "Huh?"  Zim spun around only to be tackled to the ground by a dark figure.  "AAAHHHHHH!  WHAT IS THIS?!"  Zim's arms were pinned behind his back due to the attacker.  The figure spun him over and slapped a pair of handcuffs over his gloves.  Zim felt a shock run through him, then there was darkness…

            Gaz walked slowly over to the soda dispenser.  "Cherry poop…"  Her mouth was hanging open and her hands were out in front of her, like some sort of horrible soda zombie.  GIR blinked and looked at Gaz.  Then it looked at the ball of lint.  

            "Eehehehehehehehe!" GIR fell out of the stool laughing, then suddenly sat up, completely quiet.  It's doggy eyes narrowed, and it turned its head robotically.

            It looked around until its eyes focused on the target, the source of the 'prey'.  GIR jumped up and screamed in a high pitched voice, "CHURROOOOOOS!"  

            It leaped towards the Churro man, who abruptly screamed and ran, pushing the cart in front of him with GIR hot on his heels.

            Gaz growled as she reached around in her pockets for change.  She didn't have any money to get the soda!  She screamed in rage and booted the soda dispenser.  It let out a low rumble and a Cherry Poop rolled out.  Gaz's eyes opened in surprise.  She looked around then grabbed the drink.  She popped the top open and took a long refreshing sip.

            "Ahhhhhhh…Soda…"  All she needed now was pizza.  Oh, and her date of course.  Speaking of her date…Gaz looked around the boardwalk to find that the little green dog was nowhere to be seen!  She glanced around frantically, looking for the 'love of her life' when she crashed into a person eating chocolate covered nachos.

            The nacho tray flew into the air and landed on her head, leaving Gaz drenched in chocolate saucy crap.  She looked at herself, a look of shock on her face.  Then she glared up at the perpetrator, her narrowed eyes causing the young man to shudder noticeably.  

            "Look man, I'm sorry!  Um…I gotta go!"  The guy ran off screaming and Gaz glared after him.  

            "He will pay…"

Dib did not know what had come over him.  He was running down the street, away from the skool.  His breath came out in ragged gasps as he reached his house, slowing down to walk through the door.  Dib didn't remember anything.  All he remembered was a brief wave going through him.  He glanced around the house.

            "Dad?  Hey dad?  You here?"  Dib looked down towards the Professor's lab.  There was silence.  Dib quickly ran downstairs into the lab.  He threw his heavy black backpack against the wall, hearing a thud and a soft moan.

            "Hey?  Who's in here?"  Dib stood still for a moment, listening, trying to hear the sound again.  "Must've been my imagination…"  Dib rubbed his eyes and yawned.  It was getting late.  He started to head upstairs when he heard something rustle.  Dib stopped and listened carefully.  He heard it again!  It was coming from his backpack.

            Dib walked over to the black bag and poked it.  It moaned.  Dib recoiled.  "Ugh!  There's something…_alive_ in my backpack!"  Dib raised an eyebrow and carefully unzipped the backpack.  He kicked it over with his toe and Zim rolled out, curled in a fetal position.  "ZIM!  But…how…?"

            It all flashed back to Dib.  The wave.  Seeing Zim on the roof.  Knowing his obsession was something more, but why?  And how?  He must have Zim, that was the only thing that mattered.  Dib was jerked back to reality and Zim let out a little whimper.  Dib never noticed how…cute…Zim was.

            He smiled evilly and took a step towards Zim.

            WOAH!  Who expected _THAT_?!  HUH?!  Slashyness!  YAY!  But…not really.  See cuz…WELL YOU'LL SEE NEXT CHAPTER!  I'm sowwy Daz…=(   Bu-but…**runs away crying**  DON'T HATE MEEEEE!


	7. Loosing my religion...

**LISTEN TO ME OR PAY A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PRICE!**!:…Um…ya.  Anyways…I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM!  And this part is SLASHY LIKE!  So don't say I didn't warn ya!  Muah…MUAHA…MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHABA!  *cough, cough*  On to the next part of the story **GIR in the background, "Finally…"**  SILENCE!  INSULATING FOOL!  I HAVE FINALS!  FINAAAAAALS!…Insulating?  Um…oka…**shoots self**

**Loosin' my religion (Guess what song I'm listening too now!)**:****

****

            GIR was stopped when in his mad crusade when he smashed face first into the side of a taxi.  "NOOOOO!  My churros!  Awwww…" GIR sat down and cried.  A woman walking by dragging her child on a leash cast him a strange glance.  She raised an eyebrow.  Her daughter tried to pet GIR and the lady yanked on the leash, yanking the child off of her feet.

            "He might have rabies!  Don't touch it!"  The lady ran down the sidewalk screaming, hauling her daughter on the hard sidewalk cement, leaving a bloody trail behind her.  GIR looked after the lady.  

            "…"  Then it looked up.  "Waitaminute…where am I?  OH NO!  MASTER!"  GIR leaped up and gaped at a giant movie poster depicting an alien on an autopsy table.  "NOOOOOOOO!  I LOVDED YOU MASTER!  I LOVDED YOO-HOO!"  A random guy glanced at the screaming green puppy laying on the sidewalk, twitching and flailing.  The dog seemed to immediately forget whatever was bugging him and sat up, then stuck its foot in its mouth.  The guy took two steps back, turned, and ran screaming. 

            GIR blinked at the guy.  "Weirdo…"  GIR shrugged, stood up, and wandered around the streets.  It was cast various glances by strange looking people.   The android stopped as it passed a store, walked backwards and its head contorted to the display in a store.  Its eyes widened and it let out a sound of awe.

            The chocolate sauce from the nachos dripped down Gaz's purple hair.  She was drenched from head to foot with the chocolate.  She immediately lost all thought of GIR, and could only think of destroying the man who brought this upon her.  "He will not know the meaning of peace, from this day forth…"  Gaz's narrow eyes narrowed even more as she took a mental picture of the young man running away.  She completely forgot about the Cherry Poop and stalked off after the guy.

            That poor…poor soul.  Gaz climbed to the top of the building and watched the figure in the distance turn into a house, and slam the door behind him.  Her lips spread across her face in evil glee as she made a note of where the man's house was.  This was the last night he would sleep in his own bed, or have a bed to sleep in for that matter.

            Zim groaned in pain and opened his eyes slowly.  He looked around, not seeing much but a bright white light.  His first thought was, _Am I dead?_  Zim's head rolled forward, then jerked up, his eyes wide open.  With a grunt, Zim tried to pull his arms towards him, only to find himself not able to.  He stuck his neck out and twisted his head to the side, seeing the problem.  A large stainless steel table with arm and leg restraints!  It was at a slant, and there was a large observing lamp swinging over his head.  The heat from it stung at his face, but he ignored it.  Zim tried to look around but couldn't see much of the place that held him captive.

            Zim's large eyes burned from the lamp, and spots danced in front of him.  They were laughing and mocking him.  Wait…it wasn't the dots laughing.  It was the figure that the dots made up.  Zim wondered what the thing was that mocked him blindly.  He blinked a few times and peered into the shadows, trying to figure out who, or what, that was.

            "What's the matter, Zim?  Don't even recognize your own nemesis?"  Dib laughed evilly and stepped out of the shadows.  Zim's eyes still danced with the light but he immediately recognized the voice.

            "Let me go before something horrible happens to me!"  Zim thought for a moment. "OR ELSE!"

            "Or else…what?"  Dib leaned in close to Zim, his face almost touching the alien's.  "You can't do anything,"  Dib said with a smirk as he ran a finger down Zim's thin arm, "You're all tied up!"  Dib smiled at that thought and mumbled aloud, "Bondage….*drool*"  Zim raised an invisible eyebrow.

            "What strange torture device is this, human?  I order you to let me go right now!"

            "Oooo…I love it when you resist.  You know you can't ignore this feeling," laughed Dib he wrapped his hands around Zim's arms.

            "What feeling are you talking about you horrible, wretched earth monkey!?"  Zim practically shrieked.  The nature of Dib was frightening him more than usual.  This was so…un-Dib like.

            "You know what I'm talking about.  I can see it in your eyes," Dib sighed.  Zim opened his mouth to object when Dib pounced like a snake, his mouth covering Zim's.  Zim tried to flail around, thinking this was some horrible way to choke a being and kill them.  His eyes widened even more as Dib's tongue slid in between Zim's lips.  Zim panicked and did the first thing that came to his mind…bit him.  

            Dib screamed in agony and immediately hopped off.  He slapped both hands over his mouth and bounced around in pain.  The hands muffled his shrieks from his stinging mouth.  His eyes teared and he ran upstairs to grab something to bandage his damaged tongue.  

            Zim looked around frantically, not wanting the Dib-human to come back and do something even worse to him.  He let out a quiet sob of despair and tried to pull himself free, yanking as he heard the screams and wails of Dib quieting down.  He had obviously found something to cure the broken appendage in his mouth.  Zim's eyes widened as he heard Dib start to advance down the stairs.

            Am I insane?  Nope…just mentally retarded.  MUAHA!  Hope ya like!  Anyone hate it?  CUZ I LIKE TO KNOW WHAT I CAN IMPROVE IN MY WRITING!  TELL MEEEEEEEEE!  Or you shall pay a dear dear dear price…GO BUY MY PICTURE!  It's a squirrel…or at least go look at it!  a href=http://furrybid.transform.to/cgi-bin/auction.pl?furry&1009925771Squirrel babe/a!  Sorry for the short chapters…it's getting hard to write and not make it really long or really short.  It's gonna be one or the other.  I'm trying to keep it to each char. Getting one situation a chapter *shrug*.


	8. The one with the shovel...

****STANDING ON A PODIUM SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE**!**:…**points to an old lady**  YOU!  YES YOU!  Listen to me or suffer my horrible horrible…something!  Yesh…I do not own Invader Zim.  He (and all related characters) belongs to the almighty god known as Jhonen Vasquez.  Jhonen who is a genius, kick-ass artist…AND HOT!  Oh man is he HOT!  *drool*  **coughs**  Anyways…back to the story…cuz I said so!  No sue me…I NO WANNA BE SUED!  OR I HAVE HEAD EXPLODEY!  MUAHAHAHAHA!  'Nny!  **runs after a tall skinny guy carrying a knife who is screaming and running away**  Oh…and I don't own Johnny either!

** I'm JACK!…the pumpkin kiiiiing…(now what am I watching?!):**

****

            Dib made his way down the stairs slowly…his eyes twitching violently with every step as he eyed his prey.  Yes…Zim.  The creature he had chased for so long.  He loathed this creature, this _alien_.  But now his obsession was something more.  Dib didn't just want Zim to destroy him.  He wanted Zim for himself.  And now he was.  Dib could do anything he wanted with Zim.  The thing he loved so much it was tearing him apart, ripping out his soul, he now had all to himself.

            Dib was not sure whether he was feeling immense love or detestation towards Zim.  He had followed Zim, memorized everything about his house, his "dog", and him. Dib swallowed hard as he hit the concrete floor, the bandage in his mouth choking him. Zim looked so sad, so desperate.  His eyes were darting about, searching for an escape from this cruel torture.

            A smile crossed Dib's thin lips as he rested his hand next to the alien's head.  Zim attempted to jerk out of the restraints as Dib leaned in closer to his face.  "Yew sthink sthat yew c'n esthcape?"  Dib asked, his eyes watering up from the slight movement of his tongue.  Zim closed his eyes and tried to think happy thoughts.  Dib frowned, then growled, a maddened spark in his eye.  "Well, do yew?!  Alien schum!"  Dib's left eye started to twitch.

            Zim whimpered and tried to pull free once more.  Dib slapped Zim across the face.  "Sthut up!  Rethithtanthe ith futile!"  ((A.N.  LOL!  This is so hard…he sounds like a retard or summat…))  Zim let out a small yelp and shrunk back.  Dib smiled psychotically and climbed on top of the table, standing above Zim.  "Thith ith fo' wuining my wife!  Thith ith fo' igno'ing twue feewingth!  Thith…thith ith fo' me!"  With a triumphant squeal of delight Dib lunged at Zim.

            Darkness was coming quickly to the boardwalk as Gaz stood there.  The chocolate sauce had interfered with the machine's original waves and had caused her to completely forget about GIR.  GIR is just an idiot and forgot about Gaz all by himself.  Gaz narrowed her eyes and noted the location of the man.  She pulled a pair of binoculars from her pocket.  "Hmm…didn't know those were in there…" she said to herself.  

            Raising the binoculars to her eyes, she looked at the house.  "Number 777, eh?  Well then, this guy is going to get it.  Oh yes…he shall pay dearly…"  Gaz looked thoughtful for a moment.  She dropped down from the roof and made her way back home, talking to herself.  "Let's see…blowtorch?  Nah.  How about scythe?  Those are fun.  Oh wait! Maybe I should use the…"

GIR squeaked happily and threw himself against the glass of the display window.  "I LOVE YOU COLD UNFEELING PIECE OF GLASS!"  It attempted to hug the glass but slid down.  "Awwww…ooooooOoooOOOoo!  What is THAT?!"  GIR stood up and gazed inside the window.  Behind the pane was a store filled with various glass objects and plates.  Above the store read a sign that said "New Antiques!" but GIR didn't notice.  A sign on the window read, "Touch it, pay for it!" but yet again…GIR's not that bright so it just saw the pretty "antiques".  

            It's bright cyan eyes lit up with delight under the doggy suit and it ran inside.  GIR shoved through the door and let out an enchanted gasp.  "WHEEEEEHEHEHEHEHHOOOOOO!"  GIR ran around in circles through various people's legs.  It jumped up on a piano and started Tap-dancing.  "Lookit!  A DANCE STUDIO!  Just like in the movies!  WHEEHEE!"  The owner ran over and started screaming.

            "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  NO! DON'T TOUCH TH-" craaaaaaaaash! "-…at.  WAIT!  NO!  STOP!  AIEEEEEEE!"  The owner turned and ran, screaming like a little girl, running away from GIR who had found an "antique" chainsaw.  

            "What's THIS BUTTON dooooo?"  GIR asked, pushing the on button.  The chainsaw whirred and buzzed loudly, then started up.  GIR wasn't interested so it threw the chainsaw over its shoulder and climbed on a bookshelf.  The people in the store were screaming at the chainsaw grabbed the nearest small objects in its teeth and flung the pieces everywhere.  The chainsaw was bouncing and hopping madly, GIR was dancing on the bookshelf.  

            "I'm dancin' like a MUNKAY!"  GIR shrieked then started climbing through the bookshelves throwing random books here and there.  The owner hid behind the counter, frantically dialing the police.  GIR ran around in circles squealing, everything that he touched ending up broken or turned on (NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVS OUT THERE).  With its cute psycho laugh it dashed out the store and into the street.  It ran straight into a stop sign and sat there dazed.  GIR looked up and around.  "OoooOooOoo!  What is THAT?!"

            ~We Welcome you to Munchkin Land!  So take a short break!  But come back soon.  Grab some popcorn.  And get laid.  I mean…um…**shrugs**  Just finish reading the damn story!  Is that too much to ask?!~

            Gaz sulked down the street.  "A good ol' fashioned knife…that could work.  Yeeeeees…wait.  Nah.  To unoriginal."  Gaz stopped speaking as she smacked into her front door.  She took a step back and examined the door.  "Guess I've arrived.  Now what to use to torture that man…" Gaz continued as she opened the door and walked inside.  She gave an excited girly giggle and hopped up the stairs heading towards her room.  She opened her closet and looked at her clothes.  There was such a big variety in there, no one would have ever guessed.  She had twenty black dresses and twenty gray and black striped shirts.  She pushed aside the clothes to reveal a small blue button.

            Cackling evilly, Gaz pushed it and jumped back.  The clothes were sucked in to the wall and it flipped over, revealing row upon row of various weapons.  Knifes, katanas, lajatangs, scythes, grenades, pipe bombs, flame-throwers, daggers, and many more weapons laid out in front of her.  She thought for a moment and grabbed a dagger and a grenade.  Then, just for fun, she also took a flame-thrower.  Gaz tucked the weapons into a cloak that lay on her bed and put it on.  She pulled the hood over her head and lightning flashed outside.

            "Okay Mr. Street number 777 with the floppy devil horn type hair…today is your dying day."  Gaz left to go downstairs when she heard noises from the basement.  There was a loud shriek and a *thud*, as if someone had hit the wall.  She heard Zim screaming and Dib screaming back.  Gaz raised an eyebrow.  "I just knew he was gay," was all she said as she left through the front door.

            Zim jerked to the side as Dib flung himself on Zim.  Dib shoved him down forcefully and snarled, "No uthe thtwuggwing Thim!  I ha'e yew now!"  Zim grunted and tried to pull away.  His eyes opened wide in surprise as a thought struck him.  Dib grabbed his face and turned it towards him.  His left eye was twitching again, and blood was leaking from the corners of his mouth.  Zim smiled sweetly at Dib.

            "No…I do not think you "have me" worm baby!" Zim screamed and out of his back-pod came a device that looked much like a metal claw holding a tazer.

            "What the…"  Dib started, staring at the alien object.  His eyes widened as in one fluid movement, the device grabbed him by the throat and sent a low voltage bolt through his body, throwing him back against wall with a shriek.  Zim cackled and the device tucked itself back into the back-pod.  Another device came out that looked like a miniature saw.  Zim used it to cut through the restraints.

            He narrowed his eyes and walked up to Dib and kicked him hard in the ribs.  "Stupid human!  You will pay for trying to experiment on Zim!  OH YES!  YOU SHALL!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  Dib groaned in pain and curled up, holding his ribs.  He shook his head to try to clear it.

            "Wait…no…Thim!  Bu-…I luv yew Thim!"  Dib screamed as Zim pulled a shovel off the wall.  Why Professor Membrane had a shovel in his lab is beyond me, but whatever.

            "Silence!  The tables have turned!  There is no use begging," Zim hissed as he raised the shovel and swung it towards Dib's head, the shovel thudding loudly against human flesh.  Zim dropped the shovel and grabbed Dib's lifeless form by the arms and shoved him in the same black bag that Dib had put in.  "Now…you shall pay."  Zim growled and dragged the bag up the stairs and out the door towards his house.

Bah…GIR doesn't get another part.  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  SHOVELS!  I like SHOVELS!  The flies shall eat you!  Oh yes…THEY SHALL!  And remember to check under the bed at midnight to make sure the demons aren't there.  BWAHAHAHA!  **coughs**  Sorry…I've lost the little bit of sanity I once had…I dunno.  HOPE YA LIKE.  In case you couldn't tell…I like Zim the best.  ZIIIIIM!  Hmmm…can anyone guess who the guy with the Chocolate Nachos is?  If yer a smarty…THEN YOU CAN!


	9. The one with Johnny...

**Disclaimer!** Heyloooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  I've decided to write another chapter.  I need to take a break from mah comic book *twitch* or I shall have head explodey!  EEEEEEEEK!  Yesh.  I'm sendin' mah comic book to tha publisher's this weekend!  WOOHOO!  I own everything in that comic book…all mine!  MINE!  However, I do not own the characters in Invader Zim, they belong to Jhonen Vasquez and his wonderful head full of…stuff.  Anyways, dun sue me.  I'll cry if you do.  On to the story!  TALLY HO!  Just to let you know, Johnny wasn't originally the guy, so if he seems weird in that one part, it's coz I wasn't planning on having it as him.  And I don't own 'Nny either!  He belongs to Mr. Vasquez as well. ^_~

**Does anyone pay attention to the title anyways:**

****

            Gaz glared at the house that lay before her beneath her soaked purple hair.  As soon as she had stepped foot out of her house, the rains poured down.  The dark clouds swirled overhead, the entire landscape was swathed in darkness as Gaz made her way to doom this poor man.  Little did she know.  She stepped up to the front door, looking at the tilted numbers as she pressed the doorbell.  Down in the layers of the earth, a man shrieked out in pain as Gaz signaled her arrival.  

            Down in one of the many labyrinthes beneath the house a man looked up as the doorbell rang out.  His eyes grew wide and he whispered to himself, "The dog…"  He left his current patient strapped to a vicious looking machine (two claws holding the person's arms, metal buckles around his torso and legs, his head attached to a device that was slowly pulling upwards, and blades that would swing down once the head was stretched to its limit) and looked towards the stairs, his eyes shining with paranoia.

            He slowly traveled up the stairs, his feet not making a sound as he did so.  The doorbell shrieked out again, and once again, painful screams wafted upwards.  The young man reached his door and flipped the blood-soaked switch-blade closed, tucking it into his boot.  Slowly he grabbed the door and opened it, poking his head through the gap and peered out.  He did not see anyone so he looked around and saw a small, purple-haired child.  His eye twitched.  "Yeeeeeeeeeeees?"

            Gaz looked up at the man, her eyes burning.  With a quick movement she kicked open the door, knocking the skeleton like man backwards and stomped into the house…

            GIR looked at the store-sign.  It squinted and read the store name slowly to himself, "Tah-co…Smell?  Taco Smell?  TACOOOOOOOOOS!  Tacotacotacooo…"  GIR hugged itself happily and drooled at the thought of tacos, delicious, raw meaty (ugh…tacos are SO gross) tacos.  It giggled happily and ran into the store.  GIR's little puppy dog tail wagged happily as it stood in line, waiting for its turn to grab a piece of the delicious, made by monkeys in disguise, taco.  It let out a contended sigh and smiled happily to the cashier.  "HIIIIIII!"  GIR waved cheerily.

            "Hello, welcome to Taco Smell.  Can I take your order?"  The cashier responded routinely.

            "I WANNA GET ME SUM TACOOOOOOS!"  GIR shrieked and leapt up onto the counter, grabbing the man's shirt and shaking him.  "Tacos!  Must…obey…the taco maaaaan!"  It drooled at the thought and the cashier stared wide-eyed.  Then he suddenly started to scream.

            "RABIEEEEEEES!  This animal has rabies!  AIEEEEEE!"  He turned and ran into the back yelling hoarsely.  The entire restaurant started screaming and running around.  _Rabies!  AHHHHHH!  It has rabies!  Don't let it drool on you!_

            "Wait a minute!" one girl piped up from the back, "…you people don't notice an alien posing as a person, but you know what rabies is?!"

            An angry looking man glared at her, "There are no aliens, you idjit!  But there are rabies!  Rabies is bad!  It's a disease."  The girl nodded, wondering how people who are such morons actually knew this.  Then he continued, "you know?  The disease that if an animal who has it drools on you, you'll turn into a hideous pile of melting poo!"  The girl shook her head and muttered, Figgers.

            A small group of men in radioactive suits ran into the restaurant.  "Hup-two hup-two hup-hup!  GO! GO!  GET THE ANIMAL!" one guy yelled and pointed towards GIR, who just stood there smiling happily.  All four men pounced on the poor little robot with nets and straight-jackets, the group a smoke of commotion and confusion.  The noise stopped and the smoke cleared, the men had GIR wrapped up over its ears in a straight jacket and was wrapped in a net.  "It's off to the pound with you!" they all said at once and jogged out of the restaurant, taking the poor android with them.

            Dib awoke to find himself immobile and aching all over.  He vaguely remember what had happened.  There was Mr. Bitters, then the skool, then Zim, then back to his house, then something with a shovel…  All of this one jumbled mess warped in his (and I quote) "gargantuan head".  His head was throbbing, his eyes felt as if they were ripped out his head.  He attempted to look around and tried to take in his surroundings.  He let out a small gasp that came out in bubbles.  He was suspended fifty feet in the air, in some sort of vile goo!  Zim looked up at him from behind a large control unit full of buttons and switches and levers.

            "So…I see you are awake, vile, frolicking dirt child.  As you may have noticed, I have captured you."  Zim let out a short laugh then started to speak once more, "and now…I get to have MY fun.  You see, since you put me through a quite horrible and alien ordeal, you will go through a much worse…", he thought of a word to use and waved his hand absentmindedly, "…um…thingy!"  Zim cackled in all of his evil (I like evil…) glory.

            Dib tried to scream but only more bubbles came out.  Zim smiled, his eyes narrowing as he did so.  "Oh…and one more thing, Dib?  I HAVE YOUR TRENCHCOAT!  BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  Dib glanced downwards and screamed with the horror that he did not have his beloved trenchcoat!  (Sorry…I couldn't resist!)  Zim waved it teasingly in the air and flung it carelessly to the floor.

            "Vengence shall be mine, Dib.  Vengence…shall be mine."  Zim reached down and pulled a lever that was protruding from the console.  Dib's body screamed out in pain as the liquid drained in an instant, causing him to thud dully against the hard metal floor.  His head pounded, and all he could see was spots and static before him, but he could feel a violent shudder travel up his body.  Dib wretched and coughed up blood, his body shaking all over; his ribs felt as if they were being torn out of him as a claw grabbed him roughly and yanked him over the top of the container.

            Dib let out a weak whimper; the claw flung him to the ground and his small body bounced on the hard surface.  Zim's maniacal laughter rang through out the laboratory as he pulled another lever.  "A little game of cat and mouse, Dib?  Let's see…I think I'LL be the cat!"  Zim laughed once more as a large grate of spikes plummeted towards Dib.  

            Dib shrieked, his chest pounding, his entire body aching as he threw himself across the smooth titanium floor.  He hugged the wall as the spikes fell.  But they stopped in mid-air.  They hung there, swaying slightly.  "Hmm…I would give you a proposal, Dib.  But I really don't care what happens to you!  Well, here it is anyway.  I will give you a small chance to escape.  You have exactly thirty minutes starting from the time I finish talking to get out of my lab.  If you escape…I will hunt you down and kill you.  If you don't escape…I'll kill you anyway!"  Zim started laughing once more, then stopped.  "And another thing…GO!"  With that Zim seemed to disappear from the platform.  Dib glanced around, his eyes wide with fear and pain as he tried to comprehend the situation he was in.

            Alas…I could stop at this chapter you know.  I really could.  Thank you people for all your nice reviews!  I don't think I've gotten one flame or stinky review yet!  Darn…Oh well!  Heehee.  I luv Zim.  **huggles the adorable little alien who shrieks and runs away**  Maaaaan…I need my CAFFIENATED French Vanilla Cappucino **cries**…Anyways.  HI ALLI!  HI DAZ!  HI ALL YOU OTHER NICE PEOPLE!  **waves and hops around**  JOHNNY was in it!  My hero! *sigh *  I luv strange ppl…little aliens who want to take over the world and tall tall SKINNY SKINNY guys that murder people just cuz they look at them funny or resemble sumone they don't like.  OH WELL.  I'm a strange gurl.  Mwah.  Adios for now! 


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